Some days I can see myself like Frodo at the end of Lord of the Rings. Feeling out of place and tired of the present world. Then getting up to leave on a journey…and never come back.
But I haven’t earned the right to do that. I haven’t done anything to be that world weary and be in need of reprieve. But I can very well imagine myself getting tired of society, people, the routine and wanting to leave it all behind. To a slight degree I can already feel it.
I can feel it calling. The need to be somewhere quiet, peaceful, and green. Away from everything and everyone. Away, away, away…
I yearn for it, but it frightens me at the same time.
I have to be more brave.
Feels like I barely have any time for anything anymore. Goes by so fast…
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Not much has really changed in terms of my day to day life, but it feels like I’ve barely had any time lately. Been staying up later than usual, too. I really need to buckle down, shut off the distractions, and take care of what needs to be done.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” — Ernest Hemingway
But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathed, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at 4 o’clock in the morning.
“How much do you love me?” Midori asked.
“Enough to melt all the tigers in the world to butter,” I said.
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